We here at the Jaded Review take our users experiences and comments very seriously. We encourage you to write in with your thoughts. Recently we received this letter from John English lets take a look at what he had to say
Subject: Hippie Watching – Please do not send further mailing
From: John English
I got a packet in the mail today which, with the jaded review guide to “Hippie Watching.” This was unsolicited, and having looked through it, is certainly unwanted. The whole thing is shallow at best and offensive at worst. Please don’t waste any more paper or time and do not mail me anything ever again.
1777 Grape Ave
Boulder, CO 80304
Here is our response to Johns charming letter.
re: Subject: Hippie Watching – Please do not send further mailing
From: Kris Northern
As the 10,000th person to email me allow me to congratulate you on winning a lifetime subscription to the Jaded Reviews full line of products! No sooner than you can roll up a fatty will you find yourself up to your ears in all the hippie watching you can handle. We appreciate your eco-friendliness in pre-providing your address so we don’t have to waste precious electrons in unnecessary emails. The trees thank you in wordless whispers.
We here at the Jaded Review would like to offer you our much sought after patchouli drenched gift basket as a small token of our appreciation for your unwavering support. The basket features a clumsily woven and unstable mishmash of branches sourced locally from the nearest barter faire where I traded it for an unskilled and ultimately unsatisfactory backrub. (score!)
It is loaded with trinkets including such wonders as: Soap on a Rope molded to look like a gem wrap, a five gallon Costco sized bucket of Egyptian Goddess musk, and finally… your very own Wook Delousing kit complete with applicator and hair clump remover.
This 43 pound package will be delivered right to your doorstep where we kindly request that you promptly pay the COD charges. I’m sure you understand that our extensive outreach program geared towards sending unsolicited unwated guides to the humorless denizens of the world (starting with Grape Ave in Colorado) has all but drained our coffers.
Once again we cannot state enough how much your support means to us
and thank you again for your subscription renewal.
The Jaded Review